I was working with a client a few weeks ago in a one-on-one coaching session. He works in a creative industry, and has had a very successful career. He brought us in to help him get back in control of his work world, which seemed likely to overwhelm him.
Given his past successes, the phone just doesn’t stop ringing. He has so many potential projects, so many options for his time and attention that he was feeling overwhelmed – we call this kind of situation the “tyranny of opportunity.”
At one point in the coaching he was describing a particular arts project that he has on the go. It involves a lot of people, has a big budget, and is very high profile. There’s a lot riding on it.
As he described the project, his brain was going a mile a minute, coming up with concerns, risks, random worries…
Then he paused and said, “This is a bit out of control. I guess I’m pretty stressed about this.” It was hard to argue otherwise. There was a lot of thinking going on there, but not much of it was helpful. He was bathing in negative thoughts, often having the same ones over and over. His intelligence and creativity was brought to bear, but no forward momentum was being generated.
To channel that energy, I encouraged him to imagine that the project was already complete, and that it had been very successful. All of the stakeholders satisfied, the team being congratulated on a job well done, he himself feeling a sense of pride and accomplishment. It took him a few minutes, but soon he had described a clear picture of the successful “done state” of the project.
Having done that, his energy changed. Suddenly his negative thoughts were hurdles to be overcome in the achievement of something positive, a clear outcome.
There was tension there, but the tension was a positive force. The tension was created by the gap between what was true today, and what he wanted to be true.
He had swapped his unhelpful stress for helpful tension.
As human beings we make things happen by creating and relieving tension. Fancy a cup of tea? If you want tea but don’t yet have it, there’s a tension there between your current reality and your intended reality. You relieve the tension by closing that gap, by getting that cup of tea.
The same logic applies for outcomes larger than that cup of tea. Feeling overwhelmed by a project in your life? Lose the stress: create some tension.
Thank you, mine’s an Assam, or a Russian Caravan, if you’ve got any?
Also, great post. Nicely highlights the benefits of clarifying outcomes as a key stage in the project definition process. Which is something I need to work on, so a timely reminder as well.
Hi Darren
Sure, do you take lemon?
Glad the blog was helpful, and provided some timely inspiration.
Todd
Thank you. Just the reminder I needed today 🙂
Hi Kenneth – thanks for your note. I’m glad the blog was, from the sound of it both timely and helpful!
Thank you. I found your insight very helpful, since it turned a couple of ideas on their head, so that I can see them from a new perspective. As someone who seeks out opportunities and sees this as a good thing, it’s interesting to read about the “tyranny of opportunity”. Also I tend to think of tension as typically not a good thing, so it is interesting to read of the benefit it can bring. Should help me take stock in some situations to deal with them more effectively.
Hi Dave – I’m glad this worked for you. The blog was inspired by a conversation I had with David Allen not long ago, where he used the phrase “as human beings we make things happen by creating and relieving tension,” almost as an afterthought to another topic. I’ve been mulling that one over ever since, and thought it would work well as a blog.